I've severely neglected this blog but I'm hoping you'll excuse me, we've had the year from hell.
As a writer I'm supposed to maintain a presence on social media, to interact with readers and other writers. Although I've tried to do that, it has been very much at a distance since January. I'm probably guilty of Vague-booking - you know, venting about how unfair life is without spilling the beans - but the truth is life has been so scary I wasn't ready to share it with the world. I also respect my family's privacy and I've asked permission to post the few details I'm willing to divulge here.
My husband took suddenly ill at the start of the year and it instantly turned our lives upside down. He's the glue which has held us together for so long it was frightening to contemplate what the future might hold. We've always worked as a team in raising our sons but he's always been the main breadwinner and my emotional support. Now it's the other way around.
Anyone who knows me will tell you I'm useless in a crisis and suddenly I was the one organising us and getting him the treatment he needed. I'm an introvert who prefers to sit at home behind my keyboard. So the countless meetings, appointments, phone calls and emails I've had to arrange has tested me almost as much as my husband's illness has tested him.
Strangely enough, the experience has changed me from a glass-half-empty person to a 'we'll get through this' warrior queen. The truth is I'm too scared to accept otherwise. Somewhere beyond all this pain and stress there has to be a place of peace we can look forward to.
Illness doesn't stop the world going on around you and we've had to carry on with the usual everyday stresses too. Our boys have just finished their exams, with the eldest now waiting to find out about university. And somewhere amongst all this chaos I managed to write a book. It's only a rough draft and deadline's not very far away but it's a miracle I've managed to write anything to be honest. In some ways it has been my escape from reality and it reminds me why I do this for a living. Working from home has enabled me to be with my husband through every step of his treatment and writing is fun, even when I'm sitting in a waiting room scribbling into a notebook.
It's been five months now and though circumstances haven't changed that much, we have settled into a routine. We've also both learned to appreciate the small things in life. Material possessions aren't important and it's true when they say the best thing you can have in life is your health because boy do you miss it when it's gone!
We've just celebrated our twentieth wedding anniversary and we decided we didn't need to buy each other presents. Through the worst days of our lives, our love for one another has been the one constant. We still have a long road ahead of us and this is basically a pre-warning for the next time I go MIA. My family will always come first.
